Florida Fishing Reports

May 29 - Giant Trout - Sea Monsters - Hippy Shots - Night Snook

My buddy Randy from La Jolla was in town for the memorial day weekend and we managed to get in some fishing while he was here. I'd been chanting how much better the fishing is in Florida than in San Diego so the pressure was kind of on to put my friend into some fish or risk looking like a real idiot. We managed to catch a huge variety and number of fish which made me pretty happy. The species count while he was here included redfish, bluefish, snook, trout, ladyfish, lizardfish, mangrove snapper, and the wily sailcat. Randy totally outfished me but when you're guiding it's better to focus on your guest. In fact, some people claim that its HARDER to guide someone to fish than to actually catch fish. This must be the case because god knows I'm a much better fisherman than Randy. Report follows.

How's this trophy trout? The trout fishing was completely off the chain.


We were in fish right from the first cast which was a huge relief considering I'd mentioned how good the fishing would be like 400 times the night before.


You have to give this needlefish points for trying. How are the teeth on these things?


Sadly, at the end of the day, Randy was eaten by a huge lizardfish. That's what happens when you outfish the Hornetbear. Really bad stuff. Remember this at tournaments.


I styled this osprey with a hairdrier to get this shot. Notice how nice and poofy he looks.


I told randy this was a huge snook and to pose for a picture with it. Joke's on you buddy.


Action! Non Stop Action!


Pretty nice flounder! This flounder was lucky I didn't have a cooler or ice wih me. I think if you don't have ice to preserve the fish you're being a real putz by keeping it. keeping a dead fish on a stringer or cooking in the Florida sun is a great way to make them taste like crap. The secret to preserving fish is mix the ice with sea water. This makes a super cooled salt slurry which makes the fish preserve perfectly. Seriously. It's the best way to ice down a fish.


You just never know what you're gonna get out there...


Hippys love sunrises. They also love goofy hats. Therefore they love this photo.


Got out night fishing too. Didn't get anything huge but had some really big blowups. Actually, the night fishing was the toughest of all the  fishing we did. Night fishing is usually a total slam dunk but it was pretty tough going.


Another massive trophy fish for Randy. Well... He though it was.


Lots of mullet under the lights, too. Lights with lots of mullet don't seem to have that many snook.


Tons of bait everywhere but the snook just were not there yet. The tide was the last part of a incoming which just wasn't doing it. I think outgoing is better at night.


That was it for the fishing. I am going to say we pretty much scored. Super steady fishing and lots of variety. Now to dazzle you with some Jacques Costeau style stuff. read on!

the conditions were quite clear in this spot.


You hippys know you're all freaked out over this shot. You love it.


I felt pretty safe even though these were everywhere...


Sawfish! You never see those. What a tremendously skilled diver I am.


Jacks everywhere! What an incredible dive.


Whale Shark! Amazing! This is the dive of a lifetime!


Hey! What the hell are all these people doing standing around 50 feet under water? I've discovered Atlantis!

_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“When I found the skull in the woods, I called the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.”
- Jack Handy

May 8 - Barracuda - Snook - Manatees - Trout

It's been a while since my last report. I've been in beautiful New York and San Diego for most of April. Went fishing in Mission Bay in San Diego and caught a sweet banded bay bass. She was about 13 inches long and freaking vicious. Like a 13 inch sea tiger, she was.

Anyhow, I'm back, and the trout fishing has been just wide open here in Sarasota. I've been using lures that were in goodie bags from tournaments and you know those things never work. I've STILL been able to catch tons of fish... When the free stuff is working you know the fishing is on. The fish have been mostly in about 4 feet of water usually with some mullet hanging out in shallower water nearby. Well. Lets get on with it.

Wow! Shocker. That's a barracuda! I never catch those. This one hit this Mann's Jerkbait about 2 feet away from the kayak. Theyre a strong fish. Some people like to eat these but I find them to be a little slimy and gamey.


A common sight in Sarasota these days.


I read that needlefish get so big in the South Pacific that people get speared by them when they jump out of the water. That would suck. That's why I wear Teflon body armor whenever I'm fishing. And a helmet. And blow a whistle continuously. Safety first!


People often talk about "matching the hatch" when fishing. This is directly counter to the funky chicken lure school of fishing which dictates "anger the fish with non-natural and annoying color." Here, the funky chicken school gets another vote. Or there was a hatch of hot pink and green minnows. I don't know but funky chickens sure work.


Ye ole funky chicken claims another victim.


Yet another trout falls for the ol' pink and green.


One nice thing about the state of Florida being on fire is the pretty sunrises...


Small pods of bait were all over the place. When the wind is calm you can really see what is going on. Also a hippy shot. Twofer!


I got into a HUGE group of manatees. I'd say there were 15 of them cruising around in a huge school of mullet. That's a lot of giant mammals to be next to in a kayak.


A manatee sneeze. They do this a lot. They also fart almost continuously. What you guys eating? Cabbage? Phew!


The heads are so little compared to the massive bodies. I noticed this when I was riding them around the bay like Aqua Man. I love riding manatees. Can't get enough of that.


This one was very good to eat. Ummm. Garlic manatee kabobs. Love em'.



This snook pulled me right into the mangroves with it. I caught it anyhow. You're going to have to do better than that to trick the Hornetbear, Mr. Snook.


This is a root beer colored 5 inch Manns Hardnose claiming a victim.


This is the first tailing redfish I've ever seen in Sarasota. They're really big, I guess.


It's pretty sad how beat up ALL the manatees I've ever seen in the wild are. Look at these prop scars. People need to stop running and gunning the flats and keep their 300hp bass boats in the fricking channel. It's just lame.


Thats it. Fishing is great.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“When I found the skull in the woods, I called the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.”
- Jack Handy

Jan 2, 2007 - Holiday Report - Big Trouts - Snook - Reds

If you have a dial up connection go and get some coffee now... and maybe a donut... and maybe read "War and Peace".

However, if you have a fast connection get ready for some pictures!

YO! Hippys! You're going to be pretty fired up on this report. There was a crapload of nature out there looking all beautiful and stuff...


Hmmmm. Perhaps a larger bait would be in order... The Barracuda were out there and they were pissed. I'd say a six footer hit this guy in about 18" of water. Yipes.


Look at the action on the surface! Call the discovery channel people!


Note teeth marks on this ladyfish. Lets go swimming! Fun!


Mr. Ladyfish, I suggest you swim as quickly as you can away from here. Really. I mean it. This is no place for a ladyfish today.


Hippy shot? Fishing Shot? Only the ladyfish knows for sure...


Hmmm. Does anyone smell incense?


It's peaceful on top of the water. Underneath its a totally different story.


Nature shot? A fishing shot? An abstract artsy shot? Or just the tail of another stupid trout?


No question here. This is a flag burnin' flashbackin' bare footed hacky sack kickin' tree huggin' hippy shot if I ever saw one.


There are so many trout and redfish around here right now.


These pelicans are huge. Why, just one fed my whole family for 2 weeks.


This photo probably makes you feel moody, pensive and yet strangely free. Or, it may make you feel like covering your french fries with your jacket. It just depends.


Hows the cormorant hovering in the background? What a lousy day this redfish is having. I hope my singing cheered him up.


This is not a good place to fish. No fish here. keep moving. next stop Ft. Meyers.


Sweet. Ansel Adams would totally dig this shot.


I call this shot "trout #74" for obvious reasons.


I call this shot "bob the 6 fingered monkeyfish" for less obvious reasons.


This was a 26" snook. I caught this fish 3 times and landed him the 3rd time. Same dock. Same bait. I'm almost sure of it.


This is how easy the fishing is here. You just reach in and grab them.


This fish exploded. It was pretty wierd.


Sweet hippy shot here. Even though this bird would claw your hippy eyes out given half a chance. Ospreys hate hippys.


Redfish and docks. Two great things that go great together.


This sweet trout measured 27". The big trout have been all over the place this winter.


Phew! That's it! The fishing has been just stupid lately. Get out there! Happy New Year!
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“When I found the skull in the woods, I called the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.”
- Jack Handy

JULY 4 REPORT - TROUT - BAIT - OPTICS - FISHING LITERATURE

Is it hot enough for you? Maybe throw on a sweater or a ski cap. That’ll definitely do it. However, fish really, really seem to like the sweltering saharan heat of the Florida summer. I’ve been catching fish at all sorts of weird times of day in the hot, hot, hot sun. Tide, wind and time non-withstanding, when you find the fish they’re there in spades. I haven’t really seen them under the mangroves or on the shallow flats; at least during the day. I think the really shallow water just heats up too much and it can’t hold any oxygen. Get into about 5 feet of water though and theres fish everywhere. It’s a free for all. Bait. Pinfish. Grunts. Clownfish. Penguins. Say goodbye to the tails of your lures because, well, theyre not gonna be there long. I’ve been reeling so fast I didn’t think anything could catch up except maybe a cheetah or a perigrine falcon. Trout, snapper and ladyfish have been rediculously, stupidly abundant. I straightened a hook on what was probably the biggest redfish in the world. Thing was probably 13 feet long and I think it had some kind of bionic laser jaw. Too bad I didn’t catch it cause’ that’d have been one sweet picture what with the world record redfish and the bionic parts and all... Life can be cruel that way. Report follows.

So… We’ll start off this report with a example of just how much bait is in the water.


It’s amazing you can even catch anything on a lure. I think sometimes they eat lures just because it’s different. Like ordering chicken at a steakhouse…


“Hey! Lets all go left for awhile! Then, we can go right. Then we’ll get eaten. Sound like a plan?”


Rainbow! You know you love it, Mr. Hippy. Take it in. Take it all in. Now go wash your feet.


This is really pretty right up until you get electrocuted. Sometimes, sitting in the middle of a giant bay with a 7 foot rod in your hand seems pretty darn stupid…


Trout are all over the place just itching to get caught. Theyre one of the best fish to eat. Waaaaaay better than a gamey ol’ redfish.


Everybody was enjoying the glass minnows.


Now this is a good fish to eat. I’ve been keping lots of fish lately for the smoker. Everything tastes good when its smoked. Sorry hippies. Fish have died.

   
This is my ultralight carbon fibre paddle I won in a tournament. I’m not that big a fan of ultralight paddles. Apologies to Bending Branches. I like the hat! Everybody who paddles boats says “oh I love that light paddle!” my experience has been that in a wind they blow all over the place. Theyre too light and are always trying to take wing. I kind of miss my unbreakable plastic Hobie paddle that stayed put. I don’t even think it’s that big a difference in terms of exertion. I mean that pulling the blade through water is the hard part… so what if it weighs 22 ounces or 48 ounces… I kind of like the heavy ones.


Everybody loves glass minnows. It must really suck at the bottom of the food chain…


So, I finally got really, really nice polarized glasses. Polarized glasses make a huge difference, epsecially when the sun is high in the sky. I got HABER sunglasses which are amazing. Theyre glass optics and coated on both sides. I like them better than Costas. They really change the way the flats look. I can see the contours of the flats now and sight fishing is totally different. It turns out there are LOTS of fish in the shallow water, Who knew?!  I’ve owned lots of polarized glasses and these are the best. Conversely, I just had a pair of Bill Dance polarized glasses and those mothers reeeeealllly suck. It’s like Bill Dance isn’t trying to put me on the fish like he said, and might be just trying to make a buck. Bill! Why you gotta play me like that? Polycarbonate polarized lenses just basically and completely suck. You might as well just look through shot glasses. Shoot. Go ahead and drink the shots first. But you gotta love that Bill Dance Fishing Bloopers video he does. That’s pretty funny so it’s ok to sell cheap sunglasses with your name on it. Why, I’d sell Hornetbear glasses and say they had x-ray polarization and shot lasers and made you smarter. So, I can hardly blame Bill. He’s pretty funny. But his glasses suck. Hard.

Wow! These really do work! Look at that definition of the flats and the oyster beds! I’m just a catfish but these are far and away the best polarized glasses I’ve ever worn. Now could you please return me to the water you sadistic monster?


Oh yeah... Pancho the catfish was right about these things. They really are the finest optics money can buy. Well I’m off to the smoker! See you on a Ritz cracker!


I love ladyfish. They’re beautiful and so fun to catch. Also fun to chop into bait! There are beautiful colors in this photo…


Textbook hippy shot.


RoboRedfish did this to my jig. Before you start with the “cheap jigs” line of discussion know this jig had caught literally hundreds of fish and had been bent back into shape a few times. My fault. Good gear is a good idea although really good gear never catches anything. It’s a fine line…


This is another aside and it’s a literary one. There is a rich and diverse history of writing devoted to fishing. Hemmingway. Steinbeck. Twain. There are many, many great writers that found parallels betwixt fishing and life. It’s all just a metaphor, really. With this in mind, have you guys ever seen the fly fishing blogs out there? I really, really wish I was into fly fishing because from a literary standpoint it’s heads and tails over spinning tackle. However it is critical to note that most of the heavily focused fly fishing prose is completely consumed with FRESHWATER fly fishing, where it really does present an advantage. Matching the hatch. Presenting a 1 milligram lure 50 feet away. Why, if  I lived next to a river in Montana I’d fly fish my brains out! These guys also argue like school girls over the ethics of catching a 6 inch brook trout! I said a 6 inch brook trout! It’s amazing but kind of compelling. The people who write the blogs are facinating and the writing is good and the fishing is pretty cool too. You need to check this out. It’s another world.

http://www.tatteredfly.com
http://www.troutunderground.com
http://moldychum.typepad.com/moldy_chum/
http://fishingjones.blogspot.com/

If I was flyfishing in Montana this would be a really big deal because it’s a spotted saltwater sea trout.


An intercostal runs through it. By H. Bear.


Sublime. Sublime. Sublime. Its an amazing ride, Hippies!


That’s it! Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“When I found the skull in the woods, I called the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.”
- Jack Handy

Last edited by Hornetbear on Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:47 am; edited 1 time in total

APR 26 - GOLIATH GROUPER - TROUT FREE FOR ALL - BAIT APLENTY

Hey dudes. The fishing has been good and I'm happy to say there is promising news for the forthcoming tarpon season.

I've been fishing my traditional haunts and it's interesting to note that fishing definitely comes in waves. You catch fish in a spot, then you don't. You catch trout, and then you don't. You catch ladyfish after ladyfish after ladyfish then, well, you don’t… See?! Ebb and flow.Ying and yang. Low tide and high tide in the great cosmic fishing continuum.

So, I’ve been in an ongoing “high tide” of trout fishing. I’m trying to catch snook. Do the snook care? Nooooo. They know the season is coming to a close. Just hang tough for 5 more days and you’ll be spawning your eyes out without anyone cooking you with garlic and butter. Well… Some people will still cook you with garlic and butter. But, they’d have done that when you were only 15 inches long. So it hardly counts. You’re always in season in the trailer park…

Did I mention the bait? It’s everywhere. Big crazed balls of it hanging out all over the intercoastal. I can’t believe the life I’m seeing. The bait looks happy like there are not that many predators around. I’ve still caught some fish but it’s not quite to the frenzy of summer…yet.

That brings me back to the fishing which has been really good. I haven’t ventured out into the gulf but I hear they’re enjoying good fishing out there as well. I’m so lazy. I fish the back yard. Report follows.

THIS IS A HUGE BALL OF GLASS MINNOWS. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE. IT’S A GOOD TIME TO BE A TERN.


THIS IS AN INTERESTING PICTURE…LOOK AT THE BIG FISH SWIMMING THRU THE LITTLE FISH… BAIT IS OUT THERE IN SPADES.


THIS IS 2 DAYS OF BOBBER HARVESTING. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE TOO. I JUST PADDLE AROUND PICKING THEM UP.


THIS IS A HIPPY BAIT PICTURE. IN THE UPPER LEFT YOU CAN SEE THE SILOUETTE OF THE GLASS MINNOWS. IT’S A TRIPPY PHOTO.


THIS IS A TROUT MAULER LURE… WELL… MAULIN’ TROUT!


I THOUGHT I’D CAUGHT MY BIGGEST LIZARDFISH LAST WEEK BUT THIS MOTHER WAS AT LEAST 11 INCHES. HOW BIG DO THEY GET?!


THIS IS ANOTHER TROUT.


CAUGHT A FEW OF THESE UNDER SOME DOCKS TOO. THIS IS A NICE PICTURE OF A SNAPPER.


HEY BUDDY. SEEN ANY SNOOK?


APRIL 29 IS THE DATE OF THE OLC TOURNAMENT THAT FEATURES THIS VERY LURE! THEY WORK! AMAZING! MUCH BETTER THAN A SPOON…


SAW MY FIRST TARPON OF THE SEASON. THREW THIS TO HER AND GOT THIS BLURRY BIGFOOT PHOTO BACK.


THREW MY LURE INTO ABOUT 8 INCHES OF WATER NEXT TO A DOCK AND CAUGHT THIS! EXOTIC! I”LL SEE YOU IN 15 YEARS…


That’s it. Fishing has been steady. Trout maulers rock. Big tournament this weekend at Weedon Island. Wish me luck! Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.”
- Jack Handy

APR 13 - TROUT EVERYWHERE - GALE FORCE WINDS

Here is the secret to catching fish. That’s right. The one absolute certain way to slay all forms of sea life and dominate your local fishing area. Do not tell anyone. Also, do not go publishing this on the internet on some kind of public forum either… I mean it.

1. Buy the Newspaper.
2. Read the outdoor section VERY CAREFULLY.
3. Absorb everything.
4. Reread mission critical sections if you have to.
5. Commit it all to memory as you will have to call upon it whilst out angling.
6. Now go out and do the exact opposite. That’s right. I said it. Opposite day, every day.
7. If it says no trout, be sure to go trout fishing
8. If it says fish in the morning, the night is the ticket.
9. Turn the fishing graph upside down and use it that way.

The newspaper is trying to trick you and you must fight the urge to believe it. That’s the same newspaper that said, “2004 worst hurricane year ever!”  That is also the self same newspaper that said, “Real Estate Continues Mercurial Rise!” I mean, who would put all the best fishing spots in a public newspaper and sell it for 50 cents?! That’s almost as stupid as putting it on the internet for free! These articles are just meant to deceive the unwary angler. Consider the local “fishing report” debunked. I have spoken on the internet, under an alias, so you KNOW its true. Trust me. Report follows…

I read in the local fishwrap that the trout fishing had completely shut off and there wasn’t a trout ANYWHERE in Sarasota.

“Worst trout fishing in 20 years.” The headline read.  “Guides unable to locate spotted sea trout anywhere.” it proclaimed.

As a conspiracy theorist, I knew what this meant. The newspaper was, once again, trying to hide something. I immediately suspected that the trout fishing was turning on in a big way.

I grabbed all my ultralight gear and headed for the closest grass flat, stat.  I was rewarded with, of course, wide open trout fishing. They were everywhere. None were bigger than 22 inches but man they were thick. Every cast thick. I’m sick of catching sea trout thick. Somebody send a ladyfish over here thick. It was 6 year old nephew fishing easy.

RED TIDE KILLED EVERY TROUT IN THE WORLD EXCEPT THIS LUCKY SURVIVOR, APTLY NAMED “LUCKY THE TROUT”


I BET I CAUGHT 100 OF THESE IN 2.5 HOURS


IT WASN'T ALL TROUT FISHING THOUGH. EVEN THE WILY SAILCAT MADE A CAMEO...


I WENT THROUGH ALL MY WHITE LURES AND HAD TO SWITCH TO GREEN WHICH REALLY SLAYED THEM.


“IF YOU COULD READ, I’D SHOW YOU IN THE PAPER THAT YOURE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE”


The WIND was cracking. Oh man. I am sick of all this wind. I’d go as far as to say that the wind blows. It was whipping across the bay making for quite a brisk drift. There were whitecaps and sea spray and generally sucking conditions. Good thing there were fish. I just went with it and would drift along various flats merrily catching sea trout. The worst part about the wind is if you can’t get a fish instantly unhooked you start to really lose position on the flats. I’m ready for the doldrums of summer. Bring it on.

LOOK! SPOTTED TARPON! THAT’S AMAZING!


TAKE A GANDER OF THIS FREAKING MONSTER. WHATS THE IGFA RECORD ON 30LB LEADER? I SHOULDA BROUGHT MY CERTIFIED SCALE…


HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE WINSLOW HOMER WATERCOLOR WITH THE BROOK TROUTS JUMPING? IF YOU AREN’T FAMILIAR WITH WINSLOW HOMER YOU SHOULD LOOK HIM UP. HES A REAL ANGLER’S ARTIST. THIS PICTURE IS KINDA LIKE THAT. THERE IS SOMETHING SYMBOLIC ABOUT A FISH IN THE SKY. AND ITS PRETTY DARN FUNNY, I THINK.


SEE? THIS IS FROM A SERIES OF REALLY SPECTACULAR FISHING PAINTINGS HE DID. HE VISITED FLORIDA AND THE BAHAMAS A LOT, YOU KNOW…


YOO HOO? MR. HIPPY? YOU OUT THERE? TAKE A LOOK AT THESE TRIPPED OUT CLOUDS, DUDE.


UH OH. HIPPIES LOVE TRIPPED OUT CLOUDS BUT HATE MUSCLE BOATS… DILEMMA!  DRUM IT OUT, BROTHER. DRUM IT OUT.


TRAGEDY! THIS JACK WAS HUGE. LIKE 35 INCHES. I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM… PROBABLY GOT FOUL HOOKED. OR DECIDED THAT, IN THE LIGHT OF RECIENT WORLD EVENTS AND THE INSTABILITY OF HIS AGGRESSIVE REAL ESTATE SPECULATION, LIFE JUST WASN’T WORTH LIVING ANYMORE. HARD TO SAY


OHHHHHH! THAT’S A NICE LOOKING LIZARDFISH. I REALLY, REALLY NEEDED THAT CERITIFIED SCALE TODAY…


LOOK AT THE TAIL OF THIS LURE. SHEEPSHEAD? PINFISH? BRITISH PERSON?


YOU WANT TO WEAR A SLIVER COLORED WATCH WHEN CATCHING TROUT BECAUSE THEY MATCH REALLY NICELY.


HEY! WE’RE TROUT FISHING OUT HERE. SPLIT, PUNK.


MANY SPECIES WERE CAUGHT. ALL WERE RELEASED. THIS ONE IS PRETTY TASTY THOUGH. NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO WITH JUST 1 MANGROVE SNAPPER. TABLE FOR .3 PLEASE!


NOTICE THAT THIS GUY DIDN’T EVEN CARE IF THE LURE HAD A TAIL OR NOT…


Man! The fishing was fun. Nothing really phenomenal in terms of fish but it was fun and steady fishing. What’s exciting about fishing is you just never know what you’re going to see next. That’s the cool part. It’s the thrill of the unknown. The fact that the big one might be just around the corner… Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

APR 3 – SNOOKS – JACKS – LADYFISH – LEEZARDFEESH – TROUTS

You really can’t complain about the weather right now. It just doesn’t get much more perfect that this. Light winds. Beautiful cloudless days with crystal clear azure water. Basically picture perfect Florida weather. I, however, plan to complain about the fishing. It’s thin! I haven’t gotten skunked lately but it’s been darn close. As in “oh thank you god it’s a lizardfish” close.  As in, “Whew, I caught this one eyed ladyfish” close. Why, a person might start fishing with bait it’s been so tough out there! Well. It’s not that bad.  But…man… it’s been tough going. I did manage to angle some fish up from the depths. And I took some pictures to prove it. These pictures span a few days…Report follows…

THERE IS MY NEW STAKEOUT POLE WHICH I WON IN THE FALL FS TOURNAMENT! THAT IS ONE NICE LOOKING STAKEOUT POKE. MUCH BETTER THAN THE BROKEN DOWEL I WAS USING. THANKS CAPT. DICK.


THERE’S A NICE LITTLE FLATS BOAT CRUISING THE INTERCOSTAL. I BET GIRLS HAVE GONE WILD ON THAT BAD BOY.


SMALL SNOOK, WELCOME ABOARD! NOW, HOLD STILL AND…SMILE!


THIS TROUT REPRESENTS 1000 CASTS WITHOUT A NIBBLE. I GUESS THAT’S A MILITROUT IF YOU’RE USING THE METRIC SYSTEM…


IT WASN’T ALL BAD ABOARD THE HMS HORNETBEAR. THIS WAS A PRETTY NICE SNOOK, REALLY.


I CAUGHT THIS FREAKY LOOKING ONE EYED LADYFISH. I HOOKED HER IN THE LIP, TOO. I SAID TO THE FISH, “LUCKY FOR YOU, MODERN CATARACT SURGERY ALLOWS AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST TO REPLACE YOUR CLOUDY LENS WITH AN ARTIFICIAL LENS, THUS REGAINING VISION IN THE RIGHT EYE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SAVE UP ABOUT 6500 DOLLARS OR GET DECENT LADYFISH HEALTH INSURANCE. I RECOMMEND A PPO PLAN IF YOUR WORKPLACE OFFERS IT.”


HERE’S A PRETTY STRONG ARGUMENT FOR SPENDING MORE THAN 14 DOLLARS ON FISHING RODS. I SWEAR THIS ONE CORRODED AND BROKE WHEN IT WAS EXPOSED TO THE NON AIR CONDITIONED ATMOSPHERE RIGHT OUTSIDE WAL-MART. IT’S A BERKELEY. BOOOOOO.


HERES A SHEEPSHEAD CARCASS THAT HAS BEEN KICKING IT UNDER MY DOCK FOR DAYS… I THOUGHT THE SHARKS WERE GOING TO EAT HIM?! I GUESS THEY WERE STUFFING THEMSELVES ON ALL THOSE CRYPTIC MORTALITY SNOOK…THAT I NEVER SEE… ANYWHERE…EVER…


HIPPIES REJOICE. IT’S A PRETTY FLOWER. UNFORTUNATELY, IT HAS NO FRAGRANCE. SO YOU’RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO REEK OF BODY ODOR UNTIL YOU BATHE. THIS FLOWER CAN’T HELP YOU. SORRY.


ORNITHOLOGICAL FACT: THE COMMON NAME FOR THIS BIRD IS “BLUE-HEADED AFRICAN MONKEY CHICKEN.” REMEMBER THIS SO YOU CAN IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS WHEN YOU SEE ONE.


YOU GOTTA ADMIT THE COMMON LIZARDFISH IS A GUTSY LITTLE DUDE. THIS IS LIKE YOU OR I TRYING TO EAT A GERMAN SHEPARD WHOLE.


GOOD OLD RED HEAD AND WHITE BODY. IT’S A TIMELESS FISHING CLASSIC. LIKE HOOKING YOUR BUDDY WHEN YOURE DRUNK OR CATCHING A SNEAKER IN A CANAL.


MAN! CAN THOSE LADYFISH JUMP!


YOU’VE SEEN LOTS OF PICTURES OF HUGE SNOOK LATELY. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PICTURES.


OH! SWEET! CATFISH! DOES THE FUN EVER START?


THIS JACK IS THINKING, “I REALLY, REALLY HATE THIS GUY.”


HERES A CLOSEUP OF THE WORMS THAT LIVE IN THE TAIL OF THE COMMON JACK AND MAKE THEM NOT SO DESIREABLE TO EAT…


AND YOU THOUGHT THE OTHER SNOOK WAS SMALL! GOOD THING THIS CAMERA HAS AN OPTICAL ZOOM.


HERE IS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL LIZARDFISH. MARK SOSIN, LETS SEE YOU BOAT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS. THOSE TEETH ARE SHARP! I MIGHT GO AHEAD AND GET THIS ONE MOUNTED…


TROUT, YOU LOOK KINDA LIKE A COORS LITE. CONICIDENCE? I THINK NOT.


I JUST CAN’T RESIST A LADYFISH SHOT. I’M WEAK. I LOVE EM’


So. That’s the report! It’s been fun but I sure haven’t seen the giant trophy fish that I pretty much expect to see every time I go fishing. Tomorrow is another day.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

FEB 22 - POMPANO - CATFISH - SLAM - WIDE OPEN SOTE ANGLING

How you doing, fellow anglin' aficionados? I've returned to the greater Sarasota metropolis and have resumed angling. The fishing has been really, really good. Fish everywhere. I caught a really big snook but fumbled the monster during the photo shoot. You'll have to just imagine a really great picture of a really big snook because all I have is a nice clear picture of my hand. Report follows...

Weather has been beautiful. Really nice clear windless days this week. I managed to get out early in the morning and found the fishing to be extremely good, as I mentioned. I have developed a theory about fish location as it pertains to where the sun is.

HORNETBEARS GUIDE TO FINDING WINTER FISH IN THE MORNING:

The sun rises in the east and sits in the southern sky. Therefore, the northwest corner of bays, canals, lakes, and kiddie pools get the first immediate light. Thus, this area will heat up first and in the cold mornings of the Florida winter the fish will congregate there. I have been having amazingly good luck seeking out this exposure ASAP when I get on the water in the morning. I have been paddling over a mile to get to these hot spots (no pun intended) and have been rewarded with radically improved fishing over the eastern shores. Cloudy and overcast days to not have as dramatic a difference but fish, like people, are creatures of habit. Fish the northwest corners in the morning. Just roll up like you own the place. You might want to scream some crazed expletives at the fishing guides that are there already. They love the local color this adds for their clientele. You will also want to twitch uncontrollably and talk to your paddle, hand and/or beer.

HORNETBEARS GUIDE TO FINDING WINTER FISH IN THE EVENINGS:

Do the same thing but the northeast corners become the hot spots.

HORNETBEARS GUIDE TO FINDING SUMMER FISH:

It's so hot in the summer do the exact opposite of what you do in the winter. in the spring and fall you're on your own...

Ok! Fishing is easy! Cast, retrieve, unhook, repeat...

WHITE PELICANS. SO BEAUTIFUL BUT QUITE STINKY WITH ALL THE PELICAN POOP AND WHATNOT...


WOULDN'T BE A SARASOTA REPORT WITHOUT THIS SHOT. I REFRAINED FROM TAKING MORE OF THESE SHOTS. YOURE WELCOME.


HERE'S THE WORLD'S CRAPPIEST STAKEOUT POLE. IT WAS A REAL PIECE OF CRAP UNTIL IT BROKE THEN IT AMAZINGLY BECAME EVEN CRAPPIER. I OWN A SUPER NICE CAPT. DICKS STAKEOUT POLE BUT I KEEP IT AT CUBS HOUSE IN PINE ISLAND... CUBS? YOU READING THIS?


CAUGHT A BUNCH OF THESE. I GOT A NICE GATOR TROUT AS WELL BUT, LIKE THE SNOOK, I CHRIS SIMMS'D HIM BEFORE I COULD TAKE A PICTURE. NOTE THE WHITE GRUB LURE. ITS A GULP. THEY'VE BEEN KILLING IT ON ALL SPECIES.


WHOA! DANGER! CAUGHT A BUNCH OF THESE UNDER SOME DOCKS. EVEN WITH PLIERS THESE FISH ARE HARD TO UNHOOK. INSERT SAILCAT HORROR STORY HERE.


WHOEVER SAID THESE HOOKS TEND TO BREAK WAS RIGHT. NOTE THE "KEEPER" PART OF THE HOOK WAS "KEPT" INSIDE THE LURE. I STILL LIKE THEM BUT THEY DO TEND TO SELF DESTRUCT AT SOME INOPPORTUNE TIMES...


YEAH! GAMEFISH. THIS IS IN THE AFTERNOON AND IN THE NE CORNER OR THE BAY. THIS SHOT CAME IS RIGHT AFTER I DROPPED THE BIG SNOOK WHICH KIND OF SOFTENED THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER I WAS ON.


"I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU MR. LURE!"


OHMYGOD! THE SURF IS GOING OFF! LOOKS LIKE HAWAII!


OH. WELL THEN. MAYBE THE SURF ISN'T ALL THAT BIG. PERHAPS THAT SANDPIPER BROUGHT HIS BOARD...


ALL GOD'S CREATURES ARE BEAUTIFUL, EXCEPT FOR THIS UGLY MOTHER.


THAT, FRIENDS, IS A SOLID LITTLE LURE. I CAUGHT MORE SPECIES ON THAT IN 2 HOURS THAN I'VE EVER CAUGHT BEFORE...


HEY! YOURE A FUNNY LOOKING JACK! HOW'D YOUR FACE GET SO SMALL?


FOR ME, THIS IS AN ETHICAL GREY AREA... DO YOU TURN THE FLOUNDER INSIDE OUT TO GET YOUR FAVORITE LURE BACK? OR DO YOU LET HIM GO WITH A NICE RED SOUVENIR TO SHOW HIS FRIENDS? I CUT IT AS SHORT AS I COULD AND LET HIM HAVE THE LEAD HEAD... WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? THERE IS NO BIGGER BUMMER THAN SEEING THE FISH UPSIDE DOWN AND FLOATING AS YOU PADDLE AWAY...


PHOTOGRAPHIC NOTE TO SELF: IN THE FUTURE, KEEP THE EXOTIC BIRD IN FOCUS NOT THE ROD TIP


POMPANO! IN MY OPINION THIS IS THE BEST FISH TO EAT. NOTHING COMPARES. SNOOK IS A DISTANT 3rd PLACE BEHIND THE TASTY, TASTY GROUPER.


I CALL THIS PHOTO "ABSTRACTION #3: ROD, CHANNEL MARKER, HERON"  I ALSO CALL IT "A BIRD BUTT"


SO MANY TROUT. SO LITTLE TIME. OR IS IT LITTLE TROUT SO MANY TIMES? HARD TO SAY.


FILTHY HIPPY, TAKE A MOMENT TO ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL REFLECTION. THEN ITS BACK TO WORK AT THE WHOLE FOODS LOADING DOCK.


SOON, TERPS NEW BOAT WILL SIT IN THE PLACE THAT THIS LITTLE SNOOK CURRENTLY OCCUPIES. THIS SNOOK ALSO REPRESENTS THE 3rd MEMBER OF THE COVETED INSHORE SLAM, ALBEIT A RATHER SMALL MEMBER.


"THIS SUCKS. I'M NEVER GOING TO EAT ANOTHER GRUB AGAIN SO HELP ME GOD. THAT LITTLE RED HEAD ON IT THOUGH... SO ENTICING...SO TASTY..."


The fishing has been awesome. Another week comes to pass. Can you believe it's February? Feels like May... Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

FEB 6 FISHING REPORT - JACKS! - SHEEPSHEAD - BLUEFISH

Greetings, gang. I've been traveling a ton... Which has really cut into my fishing reports. These pictures were taken over the last week. I'm not going to bother to separate them into days. I'm just too busy here in Las Vegas. But, I thought, the world needs to see some pictures of jacks.

Sooooo.... I said in the past that jacks were trash fish. Well, it turns out, they're highly desirable GAMEFISH. And, I know how to catch'em! So when I said no more pics of jacks and whatnot, well that was crazytalk. Jacks are total gamefish and now you'll see a grip of photos of aforementioned fishes.

THIS IS A JACK. GET INTO IT. NO SNOOKS HERE, BUDDY...


HORNETBEARS HAUS OF JACK ANGLING. IN HAWAII I'M A HERO


HIPPY! SOBER UP! THE LIGHT IS HITTING THIS PALM TREE PERFECT. PLAY YOUR TAMBOURINE...NOW!


I would like to digress right now into the nomenclature for jacks... The Jack Crevalle and the Jack Trevally are, as close as I can distinguish, the same fish. I think it might be a Creole name for the same fish. Like "drunk Creole" and "Mark Twain" My brief research on the subject backs this up...

http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/Gallery/Descript/CrevalleJack/CrevalleJack.html

You'll note the ichthyologicial data on the subject. Good question for the forum because I think there is a understood difference that I may not know. Please elaborate. Discuss. Drink. Discuss more. Debate shoe preference. Discuss. Drink.

With that said, back to the Jack photography...

22 INCHES OF FURY. UNBRIDLED FURY. LOOK OUT.


YOU CANNOT DENY THEY'RE A BEAUTIFUL FISH...


AND WILDLY ACROBATIC. WHY, THAT'S A ACROJACK!


THAT'S A STRIKE KING IVORY. THEY'RE INDESTRUCTIBLE!


YOU'LL NOTE THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE ON MY WATCH...HIGH...BUT FALLING...THUS THE RED HOT BITE...


BLUEFISH RUN WITH THE JACKS. AND I CATCH THEM TOO. I THINK THE BLUEFISH FIGHTS HARDER THAN ANY FISH, POUND FOR POUND.


WHEN I HAVE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD IDEA, THE CLOUDS DO THIS...


THAT'S A FUNNY LOOKING DUCK. STUPID DUCK. YOU'D BE GOOD WITH SOME WASABI!


HERE DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY. I'M GONNA GIT U! STOP DIVING UNDERWATER! I'LL SMACK YOU WITH MY PADDLE!


BEST DOCK LIGHT IN SARASOTA AWARD GOES TO... THIS GUY! I GET THE FEELING HE BOUGHT HIS HOUSE BEFORE THE REAL ESTATE BOOM...


A DOCK LIGHT THIS NICE DESERVES 2 PHOTOS...


IF ANOTHER PERSON SAYS THERE'S NO FISH IN SARASOTA, I'LL SMACK EM WITH THIS BLUEFISH! THERES TONS OF FISH, DaveR!


THAT IS A STUPID LOOKING DUCK. I'LL SMACK HIM WITH A BLUEFISH TOO. DUMB DUCK. WITH YOUR ORANGE EYE. PRETENDING TO BE A EXTREMELY RARE HERON. YOURE GOING DOWN.


THESE LURES GOT DETAILED! GET IT? DE-TAILED! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!


IS THAT BUILT TO SPEC? WHAT DO YOU THINK MR. JACK?


OHHHHHH! GAMEFISH! I CAUGHT THIS ON AN 8WT WITH A CLOUSER FLY! OH WAIT. I THINK FLY FISHING IS RIDICULOUSLY STUPID. MY BAD.


"HORNETBEAR, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE YOU PUTTING ME BACK IN THE WATER. I'LL PRETEND YOU CAUGHT ME ON A FLY. I PROMISE. RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT, BRO! EVERYBODY LOVES THAT MOVIE!"


NOTE THIS BAIT IS A TRADITIONAL JERK. I HAVE PHASED OUT GULPS. THERE IS NO NOTICEABLE DIFFERENCE...EXCEPT WHEN YOU CATCH A BLUE CRAB...


THE LUCKIEST FISH IN THE WORLD.


"IS THAT A CUBAN? I LOVE THOSE. YOU CAN'T GET THEM HERE IN SARASOTA. HEY! THAT'S A NICE SUNSET!"


ATTENTION TERP! THE FISHING IS AWESOME IN FRONT OF YOUR PAD! WELL...THE FISHING IS GOOD WHEN YOUR NOT AROUND...


YOU DON'T SEE THIS EVERYDAY ON A LURE, GANG...


ATTENTION HIPPIES! SOBER UP! NATURE SHOT INCOMING!


AND ANOTHER! HIPPY SHOTS APLENTY! THROW YOUR HACKYSACK IN THE AIR AND WAVE IT LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!


NOTE TERP'S KAYAK SITTING DORMANT IN THE DISTANCE...


HORNETBEAR FINE ART SHOT


THE UNLUCKIEST FISH IN THE WORLD


And that does it readers! Another week has come to pass. Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

JAN 10 - LADYFISH - JACKS - HIPPY SHOTS - HORNETBEAR.COM!

There are only ladyfish and jacks in Sarasota. There is no room for anything else. They have obviously run the other fish out and taken over the bay. If there ever was a redfish, snook or pompano they have all been forcefully relocated to Pine Island by the raw masses of jacks and ladyfish. No other fish could survive. I have been repeatedly struck by jumping fish, had lures break and suffered carpal tunnel syndrome of the lure popping hand. I have stopped photographing ether species because, well, the world only needs so many pictures of jacks and ladyfish. The fishing is so darn easy I'm thinking about taking out the fly rod. Shoot! I'm thinking about taking a lasso or coat hanger bent into a loop. I also have taken a grip of hippy shots for the unwashed masses. Report follows.

I headed out to angle up a giant redfish. Surely, with the beautiful weather, redfish would be lined up at the oyster bar, waiting for a snack. It was a fine day, about 78 degrees and spectacular. The breeze was light and from the east. However, the redfish were running scared from the masses of ladyfish...

OH! LOOK! A LADYFISH. THOSE ARE FUN TO CATCH. MAYBE I'LL CATCH 3000 MORE.


THE LADYFISH IS A BEAUTIFULLY FISH COVERED IN GOOEY, GOOKY SLIME.


HERE IS WHERE THE REDFISH SHOULD BE. I SWEAR IT WAS CRAWLING WITH TAILING LADYFISH.


"MOONFLOWER, DROP THAT HACKYSACK AND LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BIRDIE"

Caught more and more ladyfish. Switched to topwater and really started to catch billions of them. They were thick I tell you. Thick.

HEDDON LURES SUFFER FROM SUCK. THE EYELET SCREWS UNSCREW UNDER HEAVY FISHING PRESSURE. I'M COMPLETELY OVER THE BRAND. THEY ALWAYS BREAK.


YEP. THAT'S ANOTHER LADYFISH.


THAT'S A PRETTY BIG LADYFISH RIGHT THERE, BABY!


JEEZ! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT LADYFISH! AMAZING!


EVERYBODY WAS GETTING IN ON THE ACTION.


HIPPY! TAKE A BREAK FROM BUILDING THAT MACRAMÉ WIND CHIME AND LOOK AT THIS!


OK THIS IS THE LAST LADYFISH SHOT. I PROMISE.


BUT HARDLY THE LAST HIPPY SHOT! TRIPPY MAN. TRIPPY.


So, I was catching fish right and left. My hair was all matted with goo. My kayak was shiny with gook. I looked like a full on crazy person. But a crazy person catching lots of fish, which is slightly less crazy than a crazy person just sitting there in a kayak.

Then, a boat sights my frenzy and makes a beeline for my spot! They run right over my line and post up right next to me. Now, mind you, there are literally miles and miles of wide open fishing but these guys were unbelievable. Some boaters are just such amazing dinks. Really. I asked them what on earth their problem was. They apologized from their Mr. CB's rental. They said they just wanted to catch some fish.

Well... OK... Mr. ethical high ground can see where you'd like to catch some fish. And, well, I guess I don't actually OWN Sarasota bay... I let them have my spot and headed for home.

IF YOU LOOK AT THIS PHOTO YOU CAN SEE THE BOAT IN THE DISTANCE THAT ROLLED UP ON MY SPOT. THEY WERE DESPERATE. I FORGIVE THEM.


OHHHH! ARTSY!


NOW THAT IS SOME CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER.


HIPPY! STOP WORKING ON YOUR MEDIEVAL FAIR COSTUME FOR 2 MINUTES AND LOOK AT THIS!


I KNOW THERES A SNOOK UNDER THERE. I CAN SENSE HIM. THAT'S CALLED SNOOKAPATHY, FOR YOU NON-SCIENCE TYPES.


HERES KIND OF A BUDDHIST HIPPY SHOT...


I returned to the dock. Fin.

Well, not actually fin. I have been posting so many of these reports I realized I had kind of a personal online fishing database going. I would know where all the spots were and what fish I caught and all sorts of valuable info...

So, I went back to the archives to pull all the old posts and, HORROR, discovered that the database only goes back a month or so! So, many of these posts are lost to the ages. I still have the pictures but the commentary is lost to the ether of the web. You'll just have to remember it if you were there.

Those old posts sucked anyhow.

However, To save all this info for future generations of Hornetbears, and myself, I have decided to go live with

http://www.hornetbear.com

This helpful resource will allow me to keep all HB fishing reports for posterity. It's also chock a block full of sweet fishing links for y'all. Also, the advertising revenue will pay for the hosting! Its a stroke of genius, I tell you. However there's only 4 posts right now. Oh well. More hilarity will ensue. Click on the ad links while you're there. Now that's truly it. FIN.
_________________
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson