Florida Fishing Reports

MAY 6 - OLC TOURNAMENT - TRASHFISHPALOOZA!

Well. The tournament I was in didn’t go so well. Only four people actually caught fish in a brisk 30MPH wind. I was sitting out there thinking that tournaments really suck. I did, however, foul hook a sting ray so technically I was not skunked and would’ve survived another day on a deserted island. I also ended up winning 5th place overall because I had one good performance in the series. So that was cool. But otherwise sucked.

AHH. THE SUN RISES OVER I-275.


THE CURRENT WAS RIPPING THROUGH HERE ON THE WAY BACK.


A REALLY NICE PICTURE OF THE TROUT MAULER LURE EVERYONE HAD TO USE FOR THE TOURNAMENT


HIPPY SHOT OF SANDPIPERS IN BAY


I GUESS YOU COULD CALL THIS AN UNLUCKY HORSESHOE…


THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO UNHOOK.


MAKO WINS THE OLC!


HERES THE CARBON FIBER PADDLE I WON. I WOULD ESTIMATE ITS VALUE AT AROUND $35,000.


A big thanks to ERICK and Canoe Country Outfitters who put together this tournament. It’s a really good time.

So the rest of the week I’ve been on kind of a trash fish tear. I’ve been in them. I think the lizardfish national convention may be happening in my neighborhood. I’ve caught em’ all. That stingray set into motion a non stop assault of inedible and downright goofy looking fish. I took pictures of them, of course. I should buy an aquarium for some of the crap I’ve been catching!

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT FISHING – THE SCENERY


THIS PELICAN LOOKS PISSED.


I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MANY LIZARDFISH I’VE CAUGHT LATELY…


A FISH THIS STUPID HAD BETTER BE POISONOUS…


JACKS ON TOPWATERS ARE FUN. I WAS CATCHING THEM ON AN OYSTER BED IN ABOUT 8 INCHES OF WATER.


ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS…


THE TROUT WERE AROUND TOO.


DON’T LEAVE GULPS ON THE HOOK OR THEY PETRIFY INTO LEATHER. I DON”T KNOW HOW TO GET THEM OFF. MAYBE SOAK EM. GROSS…


That’s the report! Nothing remarkable but there’s some fish. How often do you see a report with a sting ray, ladyfish, jack, pufferfish and lizardfish? Why, with a catfish that’s a double slam!
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http://www.hornetbear.com
“Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.”
- Jack Handy

APR 3 – SNOOKS – JACKS – LADYFISH – LEEZARDFEESH – TROUTS

You really can’t complain about the weather right now. It just doesn’t get much more perfect that this. Light winds. Beautiful cloudless days with crystal clear azure water. Basically picture perfect Florida weather. I, however, plan to complain about the fishing. It’s thin! I haven’t gotten skunked lately but it’s been darn close. As in “oh thank you god it’s a lizardfish” close.  As in, “Whew, I caught this one eyed ladyfish” close. Why, a person might start fishing with bait it’s been so tough out there! Well. It’s not that bad.  But…man… it’s been tough going. I did manage to angle some fish up from the depths. And I took some pictures to prove it. These pictures span a few days…Report follows…

THERE IS MY NEW STAKEOUT POLE WHICH I WON IN THE FALL FS TOURNAMENT! THAT IS ONE NICE LOOKING STAKEOUT POKE. MUCH BETTER THAN THE BROKEN DOWEL I WAS USING. THANKS CAPT. DICK.


THERE’S A NICE LITTLE FLATS BOAT CRUISING THE INTERCOSTAL. I BET GIRLS HAVE GONE WILD ON THAT BAD BOY.


SMALL SNOOK, WELCOME ABOARD! NOW, HOLD STILL AND…SMILE!


THIS TROUT REPRESENTS 1000 CASTS WITHOUT A NIBBLE. I GUESS THAT’S A MILITROUT IF YOU’RE USING THE METRIC SYSTEM…


IT WASN’T ALL BAD ABOARD THE HMS HORNETBEAR. THIS WAS A PRETTY NICE SNOOK, REALLY.


I CAUGHT THIS FREAKY LOOKING ONE EYED LADYFISH. I HOOKED HER IN THE LIP, TOO. I SAID TO THE FISH, “LUCKY FOR YOU, MODERN CATARACT SURGERY ALLOWS AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST TO REPLACE YOUR CLOUDY LENS WITH AN ARTIFICIAL LENS, THUS REGAINING VISION IN THE RIGHT EYE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SAVE UP ABOUT 6500 DOLLARS OR GET DECENT LADYFISH HEALTH INSURANCE. I RECOMMEND A PPO PLAN IF YOUR WORKPLACE OFFERS IT.”


HERE’S A PRETTY STRONG ARGUMENT FOR SPENDING MORE THAN 14 DOLLARS ON FISHING RODS. I SWEAR THIS ONE CORRODED AND BROKE WHEN IT WAS EXPOSED TO THE NON AIR CONDITIONED ATMOSPHERE RIGHT OUTSIDE WAL-MART. IT’S A BERKELEY. BOOOOOO.


HERES A SHEEPSHEAD CARCASS THAT HAS BEEN KICKING IT UNDER MY DOCK FOR DAYS… I THOUGHT THE SHARKS WERE GOING TO EAT HIM?! I GUESS THEY WERE STUFFING THEMSELVES ON ALL THOSE CRYPTIC MORTALITY SNOOK…THAT I NEVER SEE… ANYWHERE…EVER…


HIPPIES REJOICE. IT’S A PRETTY FLOWER. UNFORTUNATELY, IT HAS NO FRAGRANCE. SO YOU’RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO REEK OF BODY ODOR UNTIL YOU BATHE. THIS FLOWER CAN’T HELP YOU. SORRY.


ORNITHOLOGICAL FACT: THE COMMON NAME FOR THIS BIRD IS “BLUE-HEADED AFRICAN MONKEY CHICKEN.” REMEMBER THIS SO YOU CAN IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS WHEN YOU SEE ONE.


YOU GOTTA ADMIT THE COMMON LIZARDFISH IS A GUTSY LITTLE DUDE. THIS IS LIKE YOU OR I TRYING TO EAT A GERMAN SHEPARD WHOLE.


GOOD OLD RED HEAD AND WHITE BODY. IT’S A TIMELESS FISHING CLASSIC. LIKE HOOKING YOUR BUDDY WHEN YOURE DRUNK OR CATCHING A SNEAKER IN A CANAL.


MAN! CAN THOSE LADYFISH JUMP!


YOU’VE SEEN LOTS OF PICTURES OF HUGE SNOOK LATELY. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PICTURES.


OH! SWEET! CATFISH! DOES THE FUN EVER START?


THIS JACK IS THINKING, “I REALLY, REALLY HATE THIS GUY.”


HERES A CLOSEUP OF THE WORMS THAT LIVE IN THE TAIL OF THE COMMON JACK AND MAKE THEM NOT SO DESIREABLE TO EAT…


AND YOU THOUGHT THE OTHER SNOOK WAS SMALL! GOOD THING THIS CAMERA HAS AN OPTICAL ZOOM.


HERE IS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL LIZARDFISH. MARK SOSIN, LETS SEE YOU BOAT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS. THOSE TEETH ARE SHARP! I MIGHT GO AHEAD AND GET THIS ONE MOUNTED…


TROUT, YOU LOOK KINDA LIKE A COORS LITE. CONICIDENCE? I THINK NOT.


I JUST CAN’T RESIST A LADYFISH SHOT. I’M WEAK. I LOVE EM’


So. That’s the report! It’s been fun but I sure haven’t seen the giant trophy fish that I pretty much expect to see every time I go fishing. Tomorrow is another day.
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http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

MARCH 7 - OLC REPORT- SOTE PROVES VERY DIFFICULT ANGLIN'...

Friends, neighbors, bait fishermen, fly fishermen, countrymen, a hearty hello to one and all. I participated in the OLC (One Lure Challenge) this weekend which is a tournament in which you can only use one select lure. The lure was a Capt. Mikes Spoon and, let me tell you, it did not go as planned.

I’ve never been a big fan of the spoon. Those line twisting little buggers never seem to work very well. Spoons are for cleaning cantaloupe. Spoons are for French onion soup. In terms of the modern fishing lure timeline, fishing a spoon is like driving a steam powered car. Yet, I must admit, I hear people catch fish on them. I can only assume they put the spoon into the fish’s mouth after removing the hand picked shrimp that actually caught the fish and snap a blurry photo. I have caught fish on them but it’s typically pretty hard work.

Anyhow, I paid my $10 and paddled out with the rising sun planning to win the whole tournament, preferably before 10:00, so I could still catch the breakfast menu at McDonalds. Alas, this was not to be.

Let me preface this report with the fact that I had once, when I used to be good at fishing, won this event on a different lure. Again, this day just didn’t pan out the same way.

I launched out on Longboat Key. My friend RIK turned me onto the launch and the fact he was nowhere to be seen was probably the first fishing red flag I ignored of the day. I drove down to the really very nice launch and found copious parking and nary another fisherman in sight. I slipped out into the pre dawn light and commenced anglin’

THE FIRST THING I SAW AS I EMERGED FROM THE CANAL WAS PELICANS, TERNS, AND TURKEY VULTURES ALL FEEDING ON BAIT NOT 50 YARDS FROM WHERE I WAS. I THOUGHT THIS THING WAS IN THE BAG. GIMMIE A NUMBER 1 WITH COFFEE AND SUPER SIZE IT.


THERES THE LURE. BAIT WAS EVERYWHERE. I MANAGED TO CATCH NOTHING...


BIRDS. BAIT. BABES. WELL... NO BABES. BUT IT WAS A PRETTY SUNRISE. I DISCOVERED THAT THERE WOULD BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS DAY.


HERES ANOTHER SHOT OF THE LURE. CAPT. MIKE, WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC MONSTER ARE YOU? JUST KIDDING. THANKS FOR SPONSORING THE TOURNAMENT. LOTS OF PEOPLE SWEAR BY THESE THINGS.


HOW “FISHY” DOES THIS SPOT LOOK?! YET I MANAGED TO CATCH NARY A FISH. I GOT A CALL ON THE CELL PHONE THAT PEOPLE WERE CATCHING REDFISH ELSWHERE... THE LUNCH MENU AT MCDONALDS IS GOOD TOO...


WHEN THE WATER IS REALLY CLEAR IT’S MUCH HARDER TO CATCH FISH ON LURES. FISH HAVE GOOD VISION AND WHO IS TRICKED BY A LITTLE GOLD HUBCAP WHEN YOU CAN SEE IT PLAIN AS DAY...


YOU GOTTA THINK THAT LITTLE WHELK WAS GETTING READY TO SHAG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE BIG ONE. I THINK I’VE CREATED SOME OF THE FIRST WHELK PORNOGRAPHY. THE DAY WAS NOT A TOTAL LOSS.


WHAT IS THE LEGAL LIMIT FOR A SPONGE? BAG LIMIT? THIS MOTHER GOES AN EASY 24” I MIGHT WIN THIS THING YET!


MAN. I LOVE MY KAYAK. BIG BOATS ARE A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS. HOW MUCH PREP AND CLEANUP TIME DOES IT TAKE TO RUN A BOAT WITH A MOTOR? OF COURSE, ‘GIRLS GONE WILD” HAS NEVER FILMED A SEGMENT ON MY KAYAK... THATS A REAL UPSIDE OF OWNING A BIG BOAT...


HELLO MR CORMORANT. WHAT SAY YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE REDFISH ARE BEFORE I WING YOU WITH THIS HEAVY LITTLE GOLD SPOON...


YOU WOULD THINK THERE’D BE FISH HERE. NOPE. AT LEAST I GOT OUT OF THE GALE FORCE WINDS THAT WERE WHIPPING ACROSS SARASOTA BAY.


I WENT BACK TO THE LAUNCH EARLY. I HAD INCURRED A MASSIVE SHOULDER INJURY FROM THROWING A CAPT MIKES SPOON 25000 TIMES. MY ATTOURNEY WILL BE CONTACTING THE MANUFACTURER.


WHOA! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SKYSNOOK! IS THAT LEGAL? I THREW MY SPOON AT IT BUT IT FLEW OFF. OTHERWISETHE TOURNAMENT WOULD’VE BEEN IN THE BAG...


PLENTY OF TIME FOR NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS FISHING TRIP. THIS IS A HORSESHOE CRAB SHELL AND SOME SEAWEED AND SOME OTHER CRAP.


WELL,THE FISHING WAS A WASH BUT THE NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY WAS ABUNDANT...


OK. In all honesty, I have caught some fish on the Capt Mikes Spoon. Fishing the day before this tournament in my home waters I managed to catch a grip of ladyfish and trout which is much more fun than not catching anything. Here’s some shots from the day before...

SEE?! FISH EAT SPOONS. DOGS EAT CAT POOP. LIFE IS WEIRD.


WHEN YOU ARE SICK OF PUTTING NEW PLASTIC LURES ON, A SPOON IS A GOOD OPTION.


LADYFISH ARE FUN TO CATCH AND A SPOON SELDOM WEARS OUT... AND YOU COULD PROBABLY OPEN A CORONA WITH ONE IF YOU HAD TO...


I CAUGHT SO MANY FISH ON THIS SPOON THAT IT SELF DESTRUCTED. THERE’S A SMALL SCREW THAT HOLDS THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER.. WHEN THIS HAPPENS YOU SHOULD HANG IT ON YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE. IT EARNED IT.


That was a true fishing report because there was so little catching. I used to be really good at fishing. Then I learned all about it and started to suck. I am trying to forget everything I’ve learned because it will make the baits look stupid and injured which fish really, really like. As you get better at fishing the baits start to show it. I'm going to switch all my reels over to left handed... Fin.
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http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson

JAN 23 - LOVES LURE?! - TROUT - LADYFISH - DOUBLE HEADERS!!

Greetings fellow anglers. Managed to sneak out for a pre dawn fishing mission using only the loves lure? Madness you say? What would drive a person to this? Read on.

As he sun rose over the horizon, I thought to myself, "what the heck? catching fish is boring. Why not embrace the challenge of throwing a little pink bolo that only wants to wrap around itself and the pole? Now that's a challenge." So, off I went with my crazy lure flipping wildly to and fro, whistling merrily past my ear and tangling itself into a ball around the rod. You think fly fishing is an aimless exercise in futility? Try this!

Well. Who knew that you can actually catch fish on a loves lure? Turns out, amazingly, the little buggers work really, really well! I had to retie one of em' because it got repeatedly mauled by sea life. I retied with a loop knot which is superior to the goofy clinch knot that the lure ships with. Why, the tag end they leave on that thing is longer than the lure. It's a weed seeking missile that setup. I caught tons of fish the highlight being a big bluefish that escaped during it's photo shoot. Trust me. It was huge. Probably 140 lbs. (+/- 137lb) I had double headers galore and though none of the fish were remarkable in size I was amazed by the volume. I didn't even take pictures of most of them which, as you probably know, is totally unlike me.

THIS IS A LOVES LURE, OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A VERY QUIET WIND CHIME OR A VERY SHORT UNDERWATER PARADE.


OH, YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING. KICK BACK. TAKE IT IN. NOW GET ON MONSTER.COM AND GET A JOB.


OHMYGOD! THE WORLD IS ON FIRE! JUST KIDDING, YA' DINGY HIPPY.


Untangled the lure from itself and the pole in the pre-dawn light and cast it out casually, assuming I'd be doing this over and over again with little to bother me.

So, what do you think happened? Did a comet strike the earth? Did a fish ride by on a unicycle reading the first soliloquy from Hamlet? No, friends, something even stranger occurred. The lure hit the water and a nice jack hit it! A fish. Yes, I said a fish. Ate a loves lure. At sea. It's amazing and it gets even weirder.

OK. THAT'S A JACK. I BETTER GET SOME LOTTO TICKETS TODAY...


Yep. A fish. So I untangle the lure from itself and the pole and again cast it out. Now, I'm confident that there is no possible way that any other fish in the sea can be as mind numbingly stupid as this jack I just caught. I mean, natural selection would've eliminated such a fish eons ago? right?

HEY! THIS IS A REAL TIME SAVER! I DON'T HAVE TO FISH ANYWHERE NEAR AS LONG THIS WAY...


Amazing! There are not just one but two fish that decided that they wanted to join the parade! That's 2 casts, 3 fish. What kind of crazy math is going on out here?

So, I untangle the lure from itself and the pole and cast it out yet again. This time I'm positive I wont catch anything. There's just no way. Lightning never strikes this many times, except in the wildly violent atmosphere of Venus... but that's another story for another time...

OH NO, YOU DID NOT EAT THAT LURE.


Ok. That's 3 casts, 4 fish. One of which is a bonified game fish. I turn to the loves lure and give it a long hard look, like its trying to pull a fast one on me. Or, like its possessed with voodoo juju. I slowly untangle it from itself and the pole and cast it out again. Yep. More fish. Everywhere. Can't shake em' off. I would catch one and let it run until I felt the next one hit the other lure. Trout, ladyfish, jacks and the aforementioned bluefish. Amazing. Utterly amazing.

EVERYBODY LOVES A PARADE!


Continued to untangle, cast and retrieve fish for the better part of 2 hours. Never really saw anything bigger than the bluefish but all in all I was pretty pleased...

GAME FISH EVERYWHERE!


DOUBLE HEADERS APLENTY!


Finally decided to pack up shop and head in.

I thought you guys would especially enjoy this because up until today, there is no photographic evidence of loves lures ever having caught a fish, let alone two fish at once! That's like catching a mermaid and a unicorn on the same cast! Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson