Friends, neighbors, bait fishermen, fly fishermen, countrymen, a hearty hello to one and all. I participated in the OLC (One Lure Challenge) this weekend which is a tournament in which you can only use one select lure. The lure was a Capt. Mikes Spoon and, let me tell you, it did not go as planned.
I’ve never been a big fan of the spoon. Those line twisting little buggers never seem to work very well. Spoons are for cleaning cantaloupe. Spoons are for French onion soup. In terms of the modern fishing lure timeline, fishing a spoon is like driving a steam powered car. Yet, I must admit, I hear people catch fish on them. I can only assume they put the spoon into the fish’s mouth after removing the hand picked shrimp that actually caught the fish and snap a blurry photo. I have caught fish on them but it’s typically pretty hard work.
Anyhow, I paid my $10 and paddled out with the rising sun planning to win the whole tournament, preferably before 10:00, so I could still catch the breakfast menu at McDonalds. Alas, this was not to be.
Let me preface this report with the fact that I had once, when I used to be good at fishing, won this event on a different lure. Again, this day just didn’t pan out the same way.
I launched out on Longboat Key. My friend RIK turned me onto the launch and the fact he was nowhere to be seen was probably the first fishing red flag I ignored of the day. I drove down to the really very nice launch and found copious parking and nary another fisherman in sight. I slipped out into the pre dawn light and commenced anglin’
THE FIRST THING I SAW AS I EMERGED FROM THE CANAL WAS PELICANS, TERNS, AND TURKEY VULTURES ALL FEEDING ON BAIT NOT 50 YARDS FROM WHERE I WAS. I THOUGHT THIS THING WAS IN THE BAG. GIMMIE A NUMBER 1 WITH COFFEE AND SUPER SIZE IT. 
THERES THE LURE. BAIT WAS EVERYWHERE. I MANAGED TO CATCH NOTHING... 
BIRDS. BAIT. BABES. WELL... NO BABES. BUT IT WAS A PRETTY SUNRISE. I DISCOVERED THAT THERE WOULD BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS DAY. 
HERES ANOTHER SHOT OF THE LURE. CAPT. MIKE, WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC MONSTER ARE YOU? JUST KIDDING. THANKS FOR SPONSORING THE TOURNAMENT. LOTS OF PEOPLE SWEAR BY THESE THINGS. 
HOW “FISHY” DOES THIS SPOT LOOK?! YET I MANAGED TO CATCH NARY A FISH. I GOT A CALL ON THE CELL PHONE THAT PEOPLE WERE CATCHING REDFISH ELSWHERE... THE LUNCH MENU AT MCDONALDS IS GOOD TOO... 
WHEN THE WATER IS REALLY CLEAR IT’S MUCH HARDER TO CATCH FISH ON LURES. FISH HAVE GOOD VISION AND WHO IS TRICKED BY A LITTLE GOLD HUBCAP WHEN YOU CAN SEE IT PLAIN AS DAY... 
YOU GOTTA THINK THAT LITTLE WHELK WAS GETTING READY TO SHAG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE BIG ONE. I THINK I’VE CREATED SOME OF THE FIRST WHELK PORNOGRAPHY. THE DAY WAS NOT A TOTAL LOSS. 
WHAT IS THE LEGAL LIMIT FOR A SPONGE? BAG LIMIT? THIS MOTHER GOES AN EASY 24” I MIGHT WIN THIS THING YET! 
MAN. I LOVE MY KAYAK. BIG BOATS ARE A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS. HOW MUCH PREP AND CLEANUP TIME DOES IT TAKE TO RUN A BOAT WITH A MOTOR? OF COURSE, ‘GIRLS GONE WILD” HAS NEVER FILMED A SEGMENT ON MY KAYAK... THATS A REAL UPSIDE OF OWNING A BIG BOAT... 
HELLO MR CORMORANT. WHAT SAY YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE REDFISH ARE BEFORE I WING YOU WITH THIS HEAVY LITTLE GOLD SPOON... 
YOU WOULD THINK THERE’D BE FISH HERE. NOPE. AT LEAST I GOT OUT OF THE GALE FORCE WINDS THAT WERE WHIPPING ACROSS SARASOTA BAY. 
I WENT BACK TO THE LAUNCH EARLY. I HAD INCURRED A MASSIVE SHOULDER INJURY FROM THROWING A CAPT MIKES SPOON 25000 TIMES. MY ATTOURNEY WILL BE CONTACTING THE MANUFACTURER. 
WHOA! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SKYSNOOK! IS THAT LEGAL? I THREW MY SPOON AT IT BUT IT FLEW OFF. OTHERWISETHE TOURNAMENT WOULD’VE BEEN IN THE BAG... 
PLENTY OF TIME FOR NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY ON THIS FISHING TRIP. THIS IS A HORSESHOE CRAB SHELL AND SOME SEAWEED AND SOME OTHER CRAP. 
WELL,THE FISHING WAS A WASH BUT THE NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY WAS ABUNDANT... 
OK. In all honesty, I have caught some fish on the Capt Mikes Spoon. Fishing the day before this tournament in my home waters I managed to catch a grip of ladyfish and trout which is much more fun than not catching anything. Here’s some shots from the day before...
SEE?! FISH EAT SPOONS. DOGS EAT CAT POOP. LIFE IS WEIRD. 
WHEN YOU ARE SICK OF PUTTING NEW PLASTIC LURES ON, A SPOON IS A GOOD OPTION. 
LADYFISH ARE FUN TO CATCH AND A SPOON SELDOM WEARS OUT... AND YOU COULD PROBABLY OPEN A CORONA WITH ONE IF YOU HAD TO... 
I CAUGHT SO MANY FISH ON THIS SPOON THAT IT SELF DESTRUCTED. THERE’S A SMALL SCREW THAT HOLDS THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER.. WHEN THIS HAPPENS YOU SHOULD HANG IT ON YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE. IT EARNED IT. 
That was a true fishing report because there was so little catching. I used to be really good at fishing. Then I learned all about it and started to suck. I am trying to forget everything I’ve learned because it will make the baits look stupid and injured which fish really, really like. As you get better at fishing the baits start to show it. I'm going to switch all my reels over to left handed... Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
Comments