Hornetbear's Hi-Res Digital Photography Handbook.
1. always use the highest res setting
2. get a huge memory card so you can take lots of pictures.
3. set the saturation to the 1st or 2ed highest level, this will give you brighter colors and not "wash out" as much
4. HOLD STILL WHEN YOU TAKE PICTURES. This sounds easier than it is. The camera is so small its easy to fumble and get kinda weird. Especially when your trying to take a picture of the biggest snook you've ever caught in a 20 knot wind. Keep your elbows in and make a conscious effort to stay as still as possible. More pictures are ruined by camera shake than any other cause. You can fix anything in Photoshop as long as the pic is sharp. You can't focus it in Photoshop.
5. Take lots of pictures. You're not wasting film and you will really get to know the camera better.
6. Pull the focus from different areas of the picture. The camera picks up its white balance from where you point. usually you'll want to aim for a 50% gray area but often it's so bright on the water this is pretty hard. Sunsets you should aim at a medium area of the sky to get the best color range then point at the sun. If you point at the sun to start it will really wash the pic out because the camera is trying to take a picture of the sun which is very bright. This is true of almost all point and shoot digital cameras.
That's all for the basic camera stuff. I edit the photos in Photoshop to make them nicer. Even a simple program like Photoshop elements has all the things you'll need to alter them and make them better. When editing:
1. crop the picture to capture what you want and omit what you don't. I almost always crop in on pictures to compose them in a cooler manner.
HERE IS A HAWAII SHOT I TOOK FROM A GREAT DISTANCE. 
YOU'LL NOTICE, WHEN ITS CROPPED, THE PHOTO IMPROVES. ESPECIALLY ON THE INTERNET WHICH IS A LO RES MEDIUM... I ALSO INCREASED THE SATURATION... 
2. Fix the LEVELS. Here's where it doesn't hurt to be an web designer/art director. All photos have something called a histogram which is a graph of the value in the picture. By adjusting the endpoints and the middle of the histogram you can really salvage a washed out but sharp photo.
HERE IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW LEVELS CAN MAKE A SHARP BUT WASHED OUT PICTURE ACCEPTABLE. THIS IS THE ORIGINAL... 
NOW, HERE IS THE CROPPED AND ADJUSTED VERSION...NOT ALL PHOTOS NEED THIS MUCH WORK BUT IF THE FOCUS IS CRISP YOU HAVE MUCH MORE TO WORK WITH... 
3. Mess with the SATURATION. I almost always push the saturation of sunsets, fish, whatever. I like really rich colors and it makes them POP. By just pushing the saturation you can make a good picture great.
SATURATION DEFINES THE COLOR OF THE PHOTO. A NICE SUNSET IS OFTEN WASHED OUT BECAUSE THE SUN IS BRIGHT. DUH. IF THE PHOTO IS SHARP YOU CAN MAKE A VERY NICE COMPOSITION BY CROPPING AND ALTERING IT... 
NOW, I HAVE SIMPLY PUMPED UP THE COLOR BY TURNING UP THE SATURATION WITH PHOTOSHOP... I CROPPED IT BETTER AND STRAIGHTENED THE HORIZON TOO.. 
So, you can make a good photo great by working with it.
4. Resize the picture in Photoshop to 700 pixels wide. This fills the screen and is a great web ready format. Your camera will take pictures almost 6000 pixels wide (or something like that) so, crop the picture and size it and you'll get really nice stuff for the web. The problem with this is when you go to print your coffee table book you'll find all your stuff is too lo-res for print.
5. SAVE THE ORIGINALS - You can always go back to the beginning and great pics you'll want to keep as hi res as possible (for your national geographic special) Don't save over them. You'll be sorry.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
Last edited by hornetbear on Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:50 pm; edited 2 times in total
January 2006
JAN 23 - LOVES LURE?! - TROUT - LADYFISH - DOUBLE HEADERS!!
Greetings fellow anglers. Managed to sneak out for a pre dawn fishing mission using only the loves lure? Madness you say? What would drive a person to this? Read on.
As he sun rose over the horizon, I thought to myself, "what the heck? catching fish is boring. Why not embrace the challenge of throwing a little pink bolo that only wants to wrap around itself and the pole? Now that's a challenge." So, off I went with my crazy lure flipping wildly to and fro, whistling merrily past my ear and tangling itself into a ball around the rod. You think fly fishing is an aimless exercise in futility? Try this!
Well. Who knew that you can actually catch fish on a loves lure? Turns out, amazingly, the little buggers work really, really well! I had to retie one of em' because it got repeatedly mauled by sea life. I retied with a loop knot which is superior to the goofy clinch knot that the lure ships with. Why, the tag end they leave on that thing is longer than the lure. It's a weed seeking missile that setup. I caught tons of fish the highlight being a big bluefish that escaped during it's photo shoot. Trust me. It was huge. Probably 140 lbs. (+/- 137lb) I had double headers galore and though none of the fish were remarkable in size I was amazed by the volume. I didn't even take pictures of most of them which, as you probably know, is totally unlike me.
THIS IS A LOVES LURE, OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A VERY QUIET WIND CHIME OR A VERY SHORT UNDERWATER PARADE. 
OH, YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING. KICK BACK. TAKE IT IN. NOW GET ON MONSTER.COM AND GET A JOB. 
OHMYGOD! THE WORLD IS ON FIRE! JUST KIDDING, YA' DINGY HIPPY. 
Untangled the lure from itself and the pole in the pre-dawn light and cast it out casually, assuming I'd be doing this over and over again with little to bother me.
So, what do you think happened? Did a comet strike the earth? Did a fish ride by on a unicycle reading the first soliloquy from Hamlet? No, friends, something even stranger occurred. The lure hit the water and a nice jack hit it! A fish. Yes, I said a fish. Ate a loves lure. At sea. It's amazing and it gets even weirder.
OK. THAT'S A JACK. I BETTER GET SOME LOTTO TICKETS TODAY... 
Yep. A fish. So I untangle the lure from itself and the pole and again cast it out. Now, I'm confident that there is no possible way that any other fish in the sea can be as mind numbingly stupid as this jack I just caught. I mean, natural selection would've eliminated such a fish eons ago? right?
HEY! THIS IS A REAL TIME SAVER! I DON'T HAVE TO FISH ANYWHERE NEAR AS LONG THIS WAY... 
Amazing! There are not just one but two fish that decided that they wanted to join the parade! That's 2 casts, 3 fish. What kind of crazy math is going on out here?
So, I untangle the lure from itself and the pole and cast it out yet again. This time I'm positive I wont catch anything. There's just no way. Lightning never strikes this many times, except in the wildly violent atmosphere of Venus... but that's another story for another time...
OH NO, YOU DID NOT EAT THAT LURE. 
Ok. That's 3 casts, 4 fish. One of which is a bonified game fish. I turn to the loves lure and give it a long hard look, like its trying to pull a fast one on me. Or, like its possessed with voodoo juju. I slowly untangle it from itself and the pole and cast it out again. Yep. More fish. Everywhere. Can't shake em' off. I would catch one and let it run until I felt the next one hit the other lure. Trout, ladyfish, jacks and the aforementioned bluefish. Amazing. Utterly amazing.
EVERYBODY LOVES A PARADE! 
Continued to untangle, cast and retrieve fish for the better part of 2 hours. Never really saw anything bigger than the bluefish but all in all I was pretty pleased...
GAME FISH EVERYWHERE! 
DOUBLE HEADERS APLENTY! 
Finally decided to pack up shop and head in.
I thought you guys would especially enjoy this because up until today, there is no photographic evidence of loves lures ever having caught a fish, let alone two fish at once! That's like catching a mermaid and a unicorn on the same cast! Fin.
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
JAN 22 - SNOOK - HIPPY SHOTS GALORE - HAWAII - UNDERWATER
This report will start out fairly traditionally until it gets all freaked out when I go to Hawaii. There, the fish change but the hippy shots stay remarkably similar even though there is a 5 hour time difference. Hippies don't know what time it is for gods sake! They're too busy with important stuff like... well... they just don't care about time. That's how they are. They love a good sunset, though.
Headed out from the dock in Sarasota. This was a beautiful day, slightly hazy, with a medium low tide, incoming. The fishing was a little lackluster but the day itself was nice.
HIPPY ALERT! NATURE FOOTAGE AHOY! 
SMALL SNOOK ANGLED FROM LARGE OYSTER BAR. ONLY GULP SHRIMP WERE WORKING, BOUNCED SLOWLY ALONG BOTTOM. 
An angling aside, I haven't caught anything on troll for a long, long time. Maybe a stray jack or two. That was a pretty dependable method of fishing for me in the summer and fall. I think that the cold weather may have made that type of feeding really slack off. I still get them on jerk baits but trolling? Almost never. Fishing is funny that way. Though, not catching fish isn't all that funny, is it? It's actually kind of sad.
THIS IS A TRADITIONAL PLASTIC LURE, NOT A GULP. THE JACK MENTIONED THAT HE DIDN'T REALLY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE AND HE WAS FEEDING BECAUSE OF AN INSTINCTUAL RESPONSE, NOT SMELL. I THANKED HIM FOR THIS VALUABLE INSIGHT AND THREW HIM TO A PELICAN. 
REMEMBER WHEN I SAID "NO MORE PICTURES OF JACKS OR LADYFISH"? THAT WAS A LIE. I MEANT TO SAY "NO MORE PICTURES OF THE TOPS OF JACKS OR LADYFISH" THIS UPSIDE DOWN SHOT IS FAIR GAME. NOTE THE INTERESTING, DELICATE LINES ON THE GILLS. THEY'RE REALLY A BEAUTIFUL FISH. 
Saw a yellow kayak in the distance which turned out to be PF forum member Seamus. He said he'd been catching tons of ladyfish, which I believed since the same phenomena had been happening to me. We exchanged some small talk. I paddled back out at sunset and I swear I saw a yellow kayak Waaaayyyy off in the distance. This would imply that seamus had fished for like 10 hours. HARDCORE! Might have been someone else, but, probably Seamus.
SEAMUS, READY FOR ANYTHING, WITH 4 RODS. 
WHEN YOU HOLD A SNOOK LIKE THIS THEY LOOK PRETTY DARN FUNNY! WHAT YOU LOOKIN AT FOOL? HOW'S THAT THUMB TASTE? I HAD TO DO IT LIKE 3 TIMES. ITS A RIOT. 
IT WAS QUITE HOT BUT THE FOG ROLLED IN A FEW TIMES. STRANGE WEATHER FOR THIS AREA.
SMOOTH WATER AS WE HEAD TO THE DOCK 
This observation about the weather brings me to good spot to talk about weather and its effect on fishing. As you all probably know, low and high pressure systems spin and push across Florida year round. The rising and falling barometer has a definite relationship to the fishing. I often think that the temp and change in direction of the barometer is more important than the tides. Here's a brief guide to barometric pressure.
Hornetbear's Handbook On Barometric Pressure:
Preamble: Barometric pressure ranges from 28 - 31 inches Hg. The average barometric pressure is 29.92 this should probably be your benchmark. When the barometer is here this represents the effective middle of the scale.
1. High Pressure: This is pressure above 30 that is rising or hanging out there. Fishing generally sucks. This is those bluebird days without a cloud in the sky or extremely high cirrus clouds. I suggest really seeking out a tidally influenced fishing spot because the weather ain't helping.
2 High pressure, falling. This is radically better than high pressure rising. This represents a change in weather and I believe the fish really tune into this. Probably because about 24-36 hours after this starts happening it's going to be cold and windy. Who likes that? Nobody. I would say that when the pressure starts dropping, even if its high, the fishing will start to turn on. It can even be a blue sky. You'll usually see atmospheric indicators such as a lowering ceiling or new types of clouds.
3. Average Pressure. 29.92ish - Fishing is pretty good. I prefer when the barometer is falling through this area. Falling pressure is almost always better than rising pressure in my opinion but you don't get the shut off you may experience during extremely high pressure.
4 Low Pressure. Fishing can be extremely good during low pressure days. Often there will be low clouds, fog, low ceiling, etc. If the wind gradient isn't that large, low pressure systems are associated with the oily calm of overcast windless days. However, as the pressure gets lower and lower the odds of extremely bad weather rise exponentially. Hurricanes represent the lowest pressure on the planet and they are not known for their particularly good fishing conditions.
I think the area around 29.92, falling, represents the best window for anglin'. As you get to the extremes of the scale you will often encounter high winds (a direct result of the large differences in pressure). If you're on the extreme ends of the scale you should find a place with lots of fish because the weather is adversely affecting the bite.
With all this said, sometimes the fishing is just plain old good, defying any system. There are too many factors that influence the behavior of fish. You just gotta get out there. You never know.
After this, I packed up my stuff for a week in Hawaii to work. I managed to screw around a lot too. I was on the beautiful island of Maui. It ruled. What a place.
THE SUNRISE FROM THE SARASOTA AIRPORT. LOOKS LIKE THE PRESSURE IS FALLING FROM YESTERDAY, NO? 
Brought some fishing gear but didn't really use it. The fishing from shore kind of sucks in Hawaii. There were kayaks to rent but I just wasn't feeling it. Spent some time snorkeling to get fish shots for the gang at home.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE ARE CALLED BUT THEY'RE REALLY BIG. MIGHT BE A JACK. HOW'S THAT PENTAX CAMERA? TIGHT. 
Ok. This brings me to public apology time. In Hawaii a big jack trevally (over 10 lbs) is called a ulua. People love them. Eat them. Sashimi them on the beach. Check it all out at http://ulua-fishing.com/ So, when SteveG said jacks aren't a trash fish, he was pretty much right. Also, they devour ladyfish over there too. Love em.
We don't see a whole lot of SteveG these days but, well, he was right. Except about the sailcat which is a total trash fish and tastes like a iodine omelet. That's coming from a fisherman in Hawaii. We share lots of fish with the Hawaiian waters, actually. No snook though. There's a hybrid tarpon that lives in the rivers.
THAT SEA URCHIN DOESN'T LOOK ALL THAT SHARP... 
PARROTFISH. JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL. 
JACQUE COSTEAU DU HORNETBEAR. 
ANGELFISH? THIS COULD BE THE KEYS REALLY. 
CORAL HEAD FROM BELOW. 
THIS IS SOME TYPE OF FISH... 
BUTTERFLY FISH RUNNING AWAY FROM SNORKELING HORNETBEAR 
HIPPY SHOT, THOUGH I DON'T THINK MANY HIPPIES WERE STAYING AT THE GRAND WAILEA... 
HIPPY! STOP LOOKING AT THAT SEASHELL AND CHECK THIS OUT! 
YOU KNOW HOW TO CATCH THESE FISH? USE CHEERIOS. THEY SLAY THE KOI EVERY TIME. 
HIPPY! ENOUGH WITH THE BEADED WRISTBANDS. LOOK OVER HERE! 
OH LOOK. HUMPBACK WHALE. WISH I HAD A SERIOUS ZOOM. THEY'RE THICK IN THE MOLOKAI CHANNEL. 
THE SURF IN HAWAII IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD. BETTER EVEN THAN SARASOTA DURING HURRICANE SEASON. HOOKIPA, WINDY BUT STILL PRETTY GOOD. 
A great trip to Hawaii. What a place. I came home on the redeye and returned to FL. The weather here was almost the same but no wind when I got back. See you at the OLC!
_________________
http://www.hornetbear.com
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
JAN 10 - LADYFISH - JACKS - HIPPY SHOTS - HORNETBEAR.COM!
There are only ladyfish and jacks in Sarasota. There is no room for anything else. They have obviously run the other fish out and taken over the bay. If there ever was a redfish, snook or pompano they have all been forcefully relocated to Pine Island by the raw masses of jacks and ladyfish. No other fish could survive. I have been repeatedly struck by jumping fish, had lures break and suffered carpal tunnel syndrome of the lure popping hand. I have stopped photographing ether species because, well, the world only needs so many pictures of jacks and ladyfish. The fishing is so darn easy I'm thinking about taking out the fly rod. Shoot! I'm thinking about taking a lasso or coat hanger bent into a loop. I also have taken a grip of hippy shots for the unwashed masses. Report follows.
I headed out to angle up a giant redfish. Surely, with the beautiful weather, redfish would be lined up at the oyster bar, waiting for a snack. It was a fine day, about 78 degrees and spectacular. The breeze was light and from the east. However, the redfish were running scared from the masses of ladyfish...
OH! LOOK! A LADYFISH. THOSE ARE FUN TO CATCH. MAYBE I'LL CATCH 3000 MORE. 
THE LADYFISH IS A BEAUTIFULLY FISH COVERED IN GOOEY, GOOKY SLIME. 
HERE IS WHERE THE REDFISH SHOULD BE. I SWEAR IT WAS CRAWLING WITH TAILING LADYFISH. 
"MOONFLOWER, DROP THAT HACKYSACK AND LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BIRDIE" 
Caught more and more ladyfish. Switched to topwater and really started to catch billions of them. They were thick I tell you. Thick.
HEDDON LURES SUFFER FROM SUCK. THE EYELET SCREWS UNSCREW UNDER HEAVY FISHING PRESSURE. I'M COMPLETELY OVER THE BRAND. THEY ALWAYS BREAK. 
YEP. THAT'S ANOTHER LADYFISH. 
THAT'S A PRETTY BIG LADYFISH RIGHT THERE, BABY! 
JEEZ! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT LADYFISH! AMAZING! 
EVERYBODY WAS GETTING IN ON THE ACTION. 
HIPPY! TAKE A BREAK FROM BUILDING THAT MACRAMÉ WIND CHIME AND LOOK AT THIS! 
OK THIS IS THE LAST LADYFISH SHOT. I PROMISE. 
BUT HARDLY THE LAST HIPPY SHOT! TRIPPY MAN. TRIPPY. 
So, I was catching fish right and left. My hair was all matted with goo. My kayak was shiny with gook. I looked like a full on crazy person. But a crazy person catching lots of fish, which is slightly less crazy than a crazy person just sitting there in a kayak.
Then, a boat sights my frenzy and makes a beeline for my spot! They run right over my line and post up right next to me. Now, mind you, there are literally miles and miles of wide open fishing but these guys were unbelievable. Some boaters are just such amazing dinks. Really. I asked them what on earth their problem was. They apologized from their Mr. CB's rental. They said they just wanted to catch some fish.
Well... OK... Mr. ethical high ground can see where you'd like to catch some fish. And, well, I guess I don't actually OWN Sarasota bay... I let them have my spot and headed for home.
IF YOU LOOK AT THIS PHOTO YOU CAN SEE THE BOAT IN THE DISTANCE THAT ROLLED UP ON MY SPOT. THEY WERE DESPERATE. I FORGIVE THEM. 
OHHHH! ARTSY! 
NOW THAT IS SOME CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER. 
HIPPY! STOP WORKING ON YOUR MEDIEVAL FAIR COSTUME FOR 2 MINUTES AND LOOK AT THIS! 
I KNOW THERES A SNOOK UNDER THERE. I CAN SENSE HIM. THAT'S CALLED SNOOKAPATHY, FOR YOU NON-SCIENCE TYPES. 
HERES KIND OF A BUDDHIST HIPPY SHOT... 
I returned to the dock. Fin.
Well, not actually fin. I have been posting so many of these reports I realized I had kind of a personal online fishing database going. I would know where all the spots were and what fish I caught and all sorts of valuable info...
So, I went back to the archives to pull all the old posts and, HORROR, discovered that the database only goes back a month or so! So, many of these posts are lost to the ages. I still have the pictures but the commentary is lost to the ether of the web. You'll just have to remember it if you were there.
Those old posts sucked anyhow.
However, To save all this info for future generations of Hornetbears, and myself, I have decided to go live with
http://www.hornetbear.com
This helpful resource will allow me to keep all HB fishing reports for posterity. It's also chock a block full of sweet fishing links for y'all. Also, the advertising revenue will pay for the hosting! Its a stroke of genius, I tell you. However there's only 4 posts right now. Oh well. More hilarity will ensue. Click on the ad links while you're there. Now that's truly it. FIN.
_________________
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
JAN 1(ish) - HOLIDAY REPORT - WINDY - JACKS - TERP
Greetings. Managed to fish a few times lately in a variety of conditions. Met up with Terp on Monday we angled up some action. Fun fishing. Report follows.
Thought I'd open with a hippy shot... I can almost smell the B.O. this one is so darn beautiful.
AHHH. SOOTHING. LETS GO RASSLE UP SOME SEA LIFE. 
I'm not sure of the exact chronology of these so I'll just kind of go from photo to photo with witty anecdotes interspersed betwixt them. Enjoy, readers.
YOU'LL BE SEEING A LOT OF THIS DURING THIS HOLIDAY REPORT 
I have located a jack free for all area. Even Terp was able to catch them in this honey hole. They were everywhere. Working the seawall. Freaking out on the surface. Easy sight fishing for several days. But now they're all gone so DaveR don't even bother trying to jump that hole. Dead zone. Terp ruined it.
YOU'LL ALSO BE SEEING A LOT OF THESE LURES DURING THIS REPORT 
"UMMM. SAVORY LURE, HOW PAINFUL YOU ARE. YET, I MUST HAVE YOU." 
Saw something amazing and mucho uncool this day. Some yahoos renting a house on the water were WASTED and shooting a potato gun at pelicans and ospreys. I'm a pretty live and let live guy, with my vertical fish holding and whatnot, but, what a crew?! It was father, mother and kids all merrily chugging cocktails and discharging weapons. I keep fish and game in my cell phone and I called them (863-648-3211) but I don't think anything came of it. I should've taken a picture but I was a little concerned I'd be a even more fun target than a bird. Anyhow, it kind of sucked but I was catching a bunch of fish so, hey, what do you do? I don't think any pelicans procured painful pouch potato punctures.
"GET ME BACK IN THE WATER! THAT DRUNK GUY HAS A GUN!" 
TOPWATER LURES ARE PRETTY DARN COOL. UNLESS THEY CATCH ON YOUR EARLOBE. THEN, THEY SUCK. 
The following day the weather was breezy but the fishing remained very good.
WHAT A FUN FISH TO CATCH. THE WILY SARASOTA BLUEFISH. MUCH SMARTER THAN THE DIM WITTED TAMPA BAY BLUEFISH 
YOU WANT HIPPY SHOTS?! TRY THIS ONE ON, STARCHILD MOONBEAM! 
CAN ANYONE IDENTIFY THIS FISH? SMALLMOUTH? MUSKY? WALLEYE? I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE. 
IN ENGLAND, THEY HOLD ALL SEA TROUT WITH THE PINKY FINGER EXTENDED. ITS CONSIDERED VERY POLITE. 
NOT A GOOD FISHING SPOT. I SUGGEST FT. DESOTO. PEOPLE DON'T SHOOT AT YOU THERE. I DON'T THINK... 
YOU ARE A VERY SMALL FISH. BEGONE. YOU ANGER ME. 
LURES. BEAUTIFUL LURES. SHARP POINTY WORKS OF ART, REALLY. 
Fishing was good and the winds continued to build. The next day was sunny and the wind was howling out of the south. I didn't care. A little wind will not keep the hornetbear from angling. I scoff at the wind. Except when I put my stakeout pole in the water and almost flip out of the kayak. Then I panic and curse at the wind. But that doesn't happen that often, really. It's mostly scoffing.
I met Terp out on the water. He had forgotten his anchor so he was briskly drifting into docks, mangroves, seawalls, et. al. I was fishing and I'm not totally sure what Terp was up to since he drifted away from me at like 7 MPH for the first hour or so.
CAUGHT THIS SWEET LITTLE SNOOK. TERP HAD CAUGHT NOTHING. 
CAUGHT THIS SLOT RED. IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE TERP DRIFTING IN THE BACKGROUND, CATCHING NOTHING. 
CAUGHT SOME JACKS. TERP STILL HAD CAUGHT NOTHING. 
Started to feel pretty bad for the terpenator. I told him I'd take him over to my honey hole where I take little kids that want to catch their first fish. He cheerfully agreed to this.
TERP, DO YOU WANT TO DO THE HALF DAY CHARTER OR GO AHEAD WITH THE FULL DAY? 
THATS RIGHT. NO SKUNK FOR THIS GUY. HAVING FUN NOW. 
Terp started to kind of slay the jacks. We were in em'! It was fun even though he was casting across my line and telling me to fish the oyster bed behind us. I just figured, whatever, its really about the client having fun.
THIS PICTURE REALLY TELLS A STORY. 
ACTION SHOT! DOUBLE HEADER! 
"DUDE THAT WAS THE BEST CHARTER EVER. DO YOU TAKE CHECKS?" 
We paddled back in and called it a day. It was a beautiful but windy afternoon and the two master anglers again dominated the poor defenseless sea life. I pity the fool jack that tries to swim past Terp. I PITY him. Fin.
_________________
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
DEC 15-18 REPORT - SNUKE - ADVENTURE - CANAL - REDFISH!?!?
Amazingly, I caught a small redfish this week. I know. I know. It's unfathomable but there it was. All 15 inches of wild redfish fury a'flippin and a'floppin beside the kayak. Caught a bunch of other fish too and of course captured some priceless hippy imagery that you'll all want to check out. Report follows.
I can't really remember the exact dates and whatnot so this will be more of a ramblin' photo essay rather that my usual strict chronological account. That's just how it's going to be. Get used to it.
THERE IT IS. A DEBRIS RETAINER. LOOKS LIKE IT'S REALLY DOING A GREAT JOB, TOO. 
I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT KAYAK SECURITY. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE JUST LAYING AROUND. EVERYWHERE. 
FREE KAYAK! COME AND GET IT! THERE'S PLENTY TO GO AROUND. STEAL A PROP WHILE YOURE AT IT! 
I CALL THIS PHOTO: "JACK AND JERKBAIT IN SILHOUETTE" or "MY GLORIOUS THUMB" 
SO, THIS LADYFISH ACTUALLY JUMPED INTO THE KAYAK. REALLY. FISHING IS EASY ONCE YOU KNOW HOW. 
WHOA. EVERYBODY LOVES THOSE FREAKING SHRIMP. 
LIZARDFISH IS TRULY A GOOD NAME. BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A LIZARD. SEE? AND MAYBE THE NAME SMALLTOOTHYDINOSAURFISH WAS A LITTLE LONG. 
NEW PENNY SHRIMP JERK BAIT?! HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? 
GO AHEAD. PLAY YOUR BONGOS AND LIGHT YOUR INCENSE NOW. 
NO SPOT IS TOO NASTY FOR THE HORNETBEAR TO ANGLE AND NO SNOOK IS SAFE. 
RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS THROUGHOUT SW FLORIDA SHOULD WARMLY RECALL THIS FAMOUS SPOT 
YEP. PULL OUT THE BONGOS AGAIN. IT'S TIME. 
"OH, HI. I WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH. PLEASE RETURN ME TO THE WATER. YOU SEE, I BREATHE WATER, SO, YOU'RE KIND OF CHOKING ME, WHICH SUCKS. AND MAYBE I COULD HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE SHRIMP THINGY'S. THEY'RE REALLY GOOD." 
I CALL THIS SHOT "PEACEFUL SEAWALL" or "PRIVATE PROPERTY KEEP OUT, DIRTBAG" 
ONE MORE SEAGULL IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT AND YOU'LL WIN THIS GAME OF TIC-TAC-TOE AGAINST TEAM OSPREY 
RUMOR HAS IT THIS IS TOM CRUISE'S NEW HOUSE. THIS DIGITAL CAMERA WILL PAY FOR ITSELF YET! 
OHHH. WHITE PELICANS. SO GOOD WITH GARLIC AND BUTTER. 
ITS INTERESTING TO NOTE THAT IN PELICAN SOCIETY, WHITE MALE PELICANS ARE ACTUALLY THE MINORITY AND PROBABLY DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. 
OH I CATCHY THE SNOOKY. YEEEESSS. NO PROBLEMO. ALL DAY LONG. SNOOKY SNOOKY, COME TO THE HORNETBEAR. 
THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE FISH. MAYBE EVEN SLOT. SEASONS OVER THOUGH. RUN ALONG. 
HERE IT IS! THE SHOT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! 
REDFISH! UNBELIEVABLE. EVERYBODY LOVES THE SHRIMPY! 
And so another week of fishing has come to pass. Fin.
_________________
“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
DEC 5 - POST EEF DEBACLE - HORNTBEARS FISHING MYTHS & LAWS
Greetings all. It's been quite a week. I thought, for a change of pace, I'd talk a little about fishing and possibly show some pictures of fish. Just throw it out there, so to speak. Report follows.
Only took one photo at the EEF tournament. I was really too busy hauling in my gill net to focus much on photography. Those things are freaking heavy! I did manage this lovely shot which will surely make some tambourine shaking hippies out there smile...
BEAUTIFUL. NOW I'LL JUST HOOK UP THIS CAR BATTERY TO THIS SHOCK POLE AND GET TO FISHING! 
That's all that happened at the EEF (for me anyhow) I did manage to catch a 16" redfish which broke a 3 month redfish drought. I didn't get a picture because I was using the disposable camera provided by the EEF.
Now its on to today's report... A tale of ethical angling, adventure and long boring stretches of aimless drifting.
I left the county easement at 8:00 and headed out to fish. It was a gray and nasty morning so the hippies aren't going to get much on that front. Caught a big trout right off the bat. Forgot my law stick in the car but I'm estimating it was about a 86" trout.
WHERE WERE YOU ON SAT? TOURNAMENTS ARE STUPID UNLESS I WIN THEM. THEN THEY RULE. 
Caught a few more short trout and the sun came out. It was getting much nicer and I considered wading. I almost never wade and it has to get pretty darn warm for me to do it. I don't like getting any mud or water in my kayak, either. I also don't like wading on anything other that perfect white sand bottom. this brings me to:
HORNETBEAR'S 3 LAWS OF WADING
1. If your flip-flop sticks in the mud this is not a good spot for wading and there are no fish nearby.
2. If the water is cold or even cool when you touch it with your flip-flop clad foot this is not a good spot for wading and there are no fish nearby.
3. If you see an oyster or anything else that looks sharp (stingray, bicycle, butcher knives) this is not a good spot for wading and there are no fish nearby.
Wading is easy and often results in great fish if you know the 3 laws. I continued to angle my butt off and caught the usual smattering of undesirable by-catch.
56" SNOOK 
WHOA! A 49" PERMIT! 
LURE SO SAVORY. MUST EAT. UMMMMMMM. 
"HEY! IS THAT A WILDERNESS KAYAK? HOW YOU LIKE THAT? BLUES A GOOD COLOR. COULD YOU PULL THIS HOOK OUT FOR ME? THANKS." 
TARPON! UNBELIEVABLE! THAT'S A SLAM! 
After all that action and the coveted inshore slam I threw on my new top secret lure. A lure so steeped in secrecy that even the CIA, FBI, OLC and EEF are unaware of the enormity of my discovery.
BERKLEY GULPS JUST RELEASED NEW STYLE. XMAS SWIM SOCK. 
MORE SNOOK. THAT'S KIND OF MY "THING" 
FINAL SNOOK. BACK TO THE DOCK WE GO. 
And that ends another fine report. The first true report with photos since the event which shall go unnamed because it is just so unbearably boring to rehash again. I feel better. I will close with some very popular fishing myths i'd like to debunk.
HORNETBEAR'S 3 MOST POPULAR FISHING MYTHS
1. Pufferfish. There is just no such thing. No photographic evidence. Never seen one. I hear the puff up or something but they're clearly imaginary. "Oh the pufferfish ate the tail off my lure" Right... Or the Lure Leg Fairy came and got it and you'll get a nice shiny spoon under your pillow... stupid mythological fish.
2. Tailing Redfish. No such thing. Never seen one. Some limited photographic evidence but I'm pretty sure theyre some kind of leopard mullet. Redfish simply do not tail except in children's books with unicorns.
3. DOA Shrimp. A fish is about as likely to eat one of these as it is to walk or ride a bicycle. Never seen a fish caught on one of these. No photographic evidence. Any fish caught on one of these should be put on a suicide watch as it clearly impaled itself on purpose.
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“I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.”
- Marge Simpson
